Reflections on Turning 30
Since this blog is really a resource for small business owners wanting to know more about online marketing, I rarely get personal with my posts - but today, I’m making an exception. Yesterday I turned 30 and yes, my birthday is indeed on Valentine’s Day (and I love it). I also celebrated my 10-year wedding anniversary less than a month ago, and with two big back-to-back milestones, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting about the past, where I am now, and what’s to come.
The one thing we can all count on, as we learned this past year, is that nothing is perfectly predictable. We can plan and hope for the future but ultimately, none of it is in our control. I think I’ve learned this lesson a dozen times over in my life, but I often forget and slip into a general sense of knowing what’s next until it’s completely upended, as 2020 did for us all.
As I look back on a year I would like to forget in many regards, though, I have come to realize that I am a better human being today than I was even a year ago, let alone as a wide-eyed 19-year-old girl getting married a decade prior. I can’t possibly condense thirty years into one blog, but if I had to give my best advice to a younger version of myself, here’s what I know now that I wish I did before:
1) You have enough time in the day for what you need to do. There was a time not too long ago when I would wake up frantic every single morning, convinced that there was no way I could accomplish my long to-do list by the time I got back in bed that evening. And if I slept in or the unexpected happened, I was in absolute turmoil.
With rare exceptions, though, I know now that what I need to do will get done, and if not everything gets finished today there might be a good reason to save it until tomorrow. Living in a constant rush is no way to live, and it sucks the enjoyment from the moments that matter most, which are rarely planned.
2) Always bring extra snacks. Just trust me - either you’ll need them or somebody else will. You can’t think rationally when you’re hangry, and you’re about to be hungry a whole lot. So save yourself a whole bunch of preventable meltdowns and start bringing something with you everywhere.
3) Find a good counselor. I’ve gone to counseling a few times in my life, but I’ve never ‘clicked’ with someone until this past year. Finding the right person - and going at the right time, with the right attitude - has made a world of difference. I could write a book about this, but counseling has been life-changing for me.
4) There is no replacement for a good community. When we joined a new church less than four years ago, I had no idea what joy it would bring me to be surrounded by people who genuinely love me, cheer for me, pick me up when I fall down, and are there for me no matter what. The thing you feel like you’re missing in your early 20s is this. You can’t leave your job or your church yet, but it’s coming - just hold on.
5) Everything has a season. One of my favorite Bible verses is Ecclesiastes 3:1, and I wish I had known the implications of this when I was younger. I wish I could go back and explain this concept to my 20-year-old self…that if you are in a season of difficulty, it will pass. Seasons of marriage struggles will get better. The seasons or mourning and grief you will experience in a deep way are not forever.
I could apply this advice to every single area of my life - parenting, business, marriage, and everywhere in between. Almost nothing lasts forever except, thankfully, the love of God, which has been the firm foundation of my entire life and will continue to be as long as I live.
If you could talk to your 20- or 30-year-old self, what would you say? What advice should I take to heart as I reach this milestone?